$D ALLDAY EVERYDAY

My dad. :[

icaughtmyselfagain:

So… He kicked me out like on Thursday because I wanted to spend some time with my niece and nephews since their parents wasn’t going to be home so I wanted to keep them company. I asked my dad if it was going to be okay if I stayed up there for a little bit to take care of them. [My nephews are a year younger & my niece is 3 years older than me] And so my dad started going on about how I don’t care for him and how I forgot that I have a dad and such. And he started yelling more and more. So I just said “Do you want me to stay home then?” and he said “GET THE FUCK OUT. JUST FUCKING LEAVE AND DON’T FUCKING COME BACK! FUCKING LEAVE NOW!” and I asked him if he was serious and he said “GET THE FUCK OUT. NEVER LOOK BACK AND DONT FUCKING COME BACK!” and I just got my stuff and walked out because I knew that if I stayed, I was going to end up saying stuff that I’ll regret.

So I spent the night at my niece & nephews house. :/ Spent the night at my boyfriends house. But I just kept thinking about it. Like why would my dad say those stuff? I stay home all the time. I clean the house, do laundry. Everything.. And yet he can’t see that I DO care for him. I DO love him. :/

And so today, Saturday. I came home. I walked up to the gate and found out that it was locked. And my ride was already gone. And he opened the door and started bitching about OH I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME BACK HERE. And so I started crying… and walked around to the alley way. And ended up climbing on top of a big trash can and climbing over my fence. :/ And sitting in the backyard for a good hour or so. I remembered that there was a couch in my garage so I just went in there and laid there for a bit… :[

Then my dad came out. Opened the door and told me to go to my room. And as I sat in my room. He came in. I was freaking scared that he was going to kill me. But instead, he sat next to me. And started crying. Talking about how he doesn’t want to be alone and that he just wants some company. How he just wanted me to stay young and to not grow up too fast because he just looks at me and notice how his little girl is growing up to be a woman and he’s just scared that I’m going to forget about him and leave him alone in the dark. By this time, I’m crying on my dad’s shoulder and he’s patting my knee and telling me to stop crying.

He leaves and I’m stuck here thinking how stupid I was for not seeing it in the first place. Then he came in and brought me food. :/ And I took it outside to eat it with him.

Fuck. I love you dad. SIGH.

wheneva chu need me. i gots chu. im here fo ya babygurl